Nonverbal Cues are the first sign
Generally, men are quite blunt in their approach, and before they use their words, they look at what they like; with intensity.
As the saying goes, the ‘Eyes Never Lie’
“The eyes are the windows to the soul” and also a man’s way to get your attention, or at least signal his own. When a man is attracted to you, his eyes can reveal volumes. Notice how his gaze lingers a little longer, filled with intensity and interest. Robert Greene captures this sentiment eloquently: “The eyes show what the heart desires.”
Psychologically, when you catch somebody’s eyes across the room, they are trying to draw you in and suggesting that they would like to get closer to connect with you. We look into people’s eyes when we talk, so you need to reply to show your interest or lack of it.
Often, if you return the look or look away, to return the gaze, that tells him that you’re interested too. Or at least open to his advances. The man will follow this signal and often find a way to speak to you. This signal gives you time to think, now you know what he likes what he sees on the surface.
Now, you are in control. He is making the moves to impress you, so be deliberate with the signals you’re sending to him. If you’re not interested, don’t try to insinuate this; be direct. If you’re interested, then lead him in and play hard to get.
Pay attention to the unspoken communication conveyed through those meaningful glances – they are the knock at the door.
The Subtle Dance of Attraction Body language speaks louder than words, especially when it comes to attraction. A man who is interested in you may display open and welcoming postures. He might lean towards you, face you directly (if he is wanting to show you his interest) but mostly from the side (men tend to open up when standing side by side with somebody, so don’t misread this sign that he is uncomfortable), and maintain proximity. Ryan Holiday reminds us, “Body language is a powerful tool used for communication.”
What is important here is that often body language is unconscious – or at least when we are caught up in the moment we don’t realise the signals that are being given. Generally, men will mirror your behaviour and body language and often seem nervous or silly (like his desires are spilling uncontrollably over him) or even start to exhibit protective behaviours.
There are two types of body language to look for; those who are shy, and those overt.
The overt types are confidence, openness and wish to showcase their value as a partner; generally via strength. They will have a bounce in their step, straighten their back and pull their shoulders back. Like a peacock, they will show you their best bits. Just keep an eye on the overt types for the subtle signals – the potential for these to be overtly sexual in their intentions, but also potentially overly physical. Make sure to draw boundaries here and ensure that their confidence does not trample over you.
The shy types are different in their approach, and likely holding back due to a deep repression. Believe it or not, many many these days are intimidated by women, and scared to make an approach. The fear of being called a ‘creep’ or facing a humiliating rejection may be too much for them to bear. Keep this in mind when dealing with this kind of person. Generally, they look but do not approach directly, or hover around you looking away almost disinterested. They may not initiate a conversation but be aware that they are trying to be noticed by you or physically close. If you’re interested, you may need to do the work and approach them gently with light conversion. If they are indeed interested, they will hone in and be extremely attentive to your every word. You may need to be aware that this type can be clingy, and once you’ve let them in with a little conversation, even if you are no longer interested, they may continue to follow and try to initiate contact. If this happens, be kind but firm. Don’t humiliate them, just let them down clearly with subtlety.
Behavioural Patterns Reaveal a Man’s Intentions
Actions speak so much more than words, and they can reveal a man’s true intentions without the need for words. “Pay attention to what people do, not what they say.” (Mark Manson ).
When a man is attracted to someone, he may go out of his way to be around you, offer help, or initiate conversations. Notice if he actively seeks opportunities to spend time together or engages in thoughtful gestures, as these actions often indicate genuine interest and attraction.
Men are, without being too rude, like dogs. In so much as a dog lets you know its intentions it’s without thinking too much about it. The dog will wag its tail or come bounding over to say hello. You’ll likely see a man change his hair, or freshen himself up in your presence, wear brighter than usual colours and generally be more chirpy when he is around you.
Also like dogs, you should be instinctively wary of a dog that seems wiley, distant, or cautious around you. They may have ulterior motives beyond a return of their affection. A concerted controlled level of affection may be something to beware of.
You should keep an eye on a man’s pattern of behaviour to understand his desires and intentions; they will scream from every action he makes. For instance, is a man finding an opportunity to say hello or bump into you? Is he making an effort to engage with you or texting you ardently? These are all signs that a man is trying to make a genuine connection with you.
However, is he texting in the middle of the night, going hot and cold, overt-flattery or dramatic acts, playing games or even as subtle as asking you for drinks (as opposed to dinner or a coffee) – then there may be some ulterior motives behind his actions. If you are easily influenced by some of these behaviours, he is in control.
Words That Carry Weight While nonverbal cues play a significant role, verbal expressions should not be disregarded in the slightest.
Cleopatra makes it known that “Words have the power to enchant and seduce.” – and that fact goes for you and the man trying to seduce you.
Listen for compliments, genuine interest in your life, and engaging conversations that go beyond surface-level topics. Meaningful conversations peppered with curiosity and active listening can be strong indications of a man’s attraction. He will ask you of your favourite things, what you like, and what makes you tick. This could be his way of finding our more about you, but also learning of what moves he can do next to ensure that you return his affections.
Be wary though of overt over flattery. These can be scripted, long dialogues of gushing affection. Overt descriptions of their undying love and sweet passages about how he has never felt this way before. This could be genuine, but if this comes thick and fast, then understand that this relationship could be a one-way street to heartbreak. If you want something casual, indulge him and allow the flattery to wash you from ear to ear.
Playfulness and Teasing
The old saying about boys and pigtails is generally true. A man tends to show is affection with a little grazing. Men show other men affection with a few insults and jibes too, but they also share this with women who may not take this in the same light-hearted fashion. Just be aware that if he is teasing you, he may be interested. But draw your battle line, and if he crosses it, make sure he knows it. Who knows, it may intrigue him more and drive him crazy for you.
Boy’s also express their feelings with much more physical attention than women do. He may try to hold you, touch you, give you a shove or a playful tickle. He is trying to show you his attention, so use this to your advantage. If he touches you, then make a point to recognise this. If his advances are unwanted, then ignore them or move away subtly. If they are accepted, give him an excuse to do it more.
By recognizing and deciphering the signs of male attraction, you gain valuable insights into the unspoken language of desire. Men are direct with their intentions, so look out for the unsaid and they will tell you exactly how they feel, and their intentions towards you. Remember though, these signs are not definitive proof, but rather indications to guide your perception. Trust your intuition, enjoy the process, and embrace the dance of attraction with an open heart and a curious mind.
In the words of Oscar Wilde, “The heart was made to be broken.”: go have fun!